God, Take Me As I Am

Jeremiah 18
At the Potter’s House
1 This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD : 2 “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” 3 So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.
5 Then the word of the LORD came to me: 6 “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?” declares the LORD. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. 7 If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, 8 and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. 9 And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, 10 and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it.

11 “Now therefore say to the people of Judah and those living in Jerusalem, ‘This is what the LORD says: Look! I am preparing a disaster for you and devising a plan against you. So turn from your evil ways, each one of you, and reform your ways and your actions.’

– Jeremiah 18:1-12 (New International Version)

Wow. What an impact that has on so many people.

We weave ourselves into such intricate ways in which none but God can “unweave” us. We put ourselves in situations where we just keep digging our hole deeper and deeper. All we want is a place where there’s no hurt, no pain, no judgment, no discontentment. But we can be mended!! What great news is that?

“It has to get worse before it can get better,”

That reminds me of the concept of “hitting rock bottom.” They say in AA that we must hit rock bottom before we can fully recover. On the other hand, there’s also a concept called “raising the bottom.” Some people that go into recover early haven’t experienced as much as others. For example, I haven’t had several husbands, gone through divorce, lost my kids, my job, and so on and so forth. I have hit rock bottom, but some people haven’t and for them, all I can say is be grateful!

We can and will be fixed and mended and made into more beautiful creatures than we could ever fathom. It’s almost as if we were once glass and were also completely shattered. Now, an amazing artist has noticed our brokenness and made something even more beautiful out of it as opposed to what it was at first. The artist is God. We are the clay and I truly believe we are to be molded. It’s a forgivable process, where we hurt and feel nothing but pain inside (hitting rock bottom or “getting worse before…”), but later on we are to be beautiful creatures of this Earth and we can function as normal human beings. What a concept!

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous talks about promises that are given to us from God after we take the ninth step (making amends).

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

– Page 82 and 83 of the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book

Not only are there promises for addicts in the big book, but there are also promises in the Bible.

I believe that God meant for us to be happy, joyous and free. I don’t think he made us just so we could struggle and barely get by, for that’s not his will.

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.

–Jeremiah 29:11-14

All in all… Being clay is what I need to work on. I thought I had it pretty good, trying to be stone, but you see stone is not malleable. The process is painful, but if I can fully rely on God to have control of my mind, body and spirit, I believe great things will happen. You reap what you sew. You get what you dish out. Karma’s a load sometimes, but if I do good (or at least make an effort), I know I’ll make it through. After all, if it weren’t for God looking out for me, I would have been dead several times over by now.

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Tags: AA, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, brokenness, clay, discontentment, fear, free, God, happy, hurt, jeremiah 18, jeremiah 29:11, joyous, judgment, pain, past, potter, pottery, promises, raising botom, rock bottom, self-pity, stone

This entry was posted on Friday, March 20th, 2009 at 4:39 am and is filed under AA, Experience, God, Hope, Insight, strength. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.